GIrls Only

The downside of being a blue-eyed blonde (or grey!) is having white eyelashes and eyebrows and having to rely on mascara and pencils to avoid looking like an anaemic pig.  As I’ve got older my eyelashes have become shorter and sparser and applying mascara has become quite tricky.

I’ve probably got too much time on my hands and I’m too old to be playing games like this but I decided to try some ‘grow your lashes longer' serum.  Applied once a day the serum is guaranteed to give you long and luscious eyelashes after four weeks.  I was very sceptical about this stuff working but lo and behold, after four weeks I had discernibly longer eyelashes.  I was delighted.  Then Paul said “why have you got red rings around your eyes, you look like a panda.”

On close inspection I noticed he was right.  I rubbed and scrubbed but couldn’t remove the discolouration from my eyelids.  Apparently this is a side effect of the product.  Back to the drawing board.

Plan B - false eyelashes.  Not those thick, spidery things that have a habit of falling off but individual lashes that stay put for up to four to six weeks.  The instructions sounded simple, pick false lash up with tweezers, dip in glue and affix to base of eyelash.  The first difficulty was trying to see what I was doing without wearing my spectacles.  My eyelashes are sparse so it was tricky finding something to glue them to.  Then the false lash stayed stuck to the tweezers.  I finally got one to stay put but it was upside down.  Then the dog barked, I blinked and I managed to glue my eyelids together.

I really shouldn’t be doing this crazy stuff at my age but after a couple of hours I have managed to fix three lashes to the outer edges of my upper eyelids.  If I painted my face green I could easily get a role in The Grinch.