The Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands

chocolate brownies would have been nicer

I took Rick out for his walk around the estate at 7.00 this morning.  He is usually quite friendly with other dogs but occasionally he kicks off so I try to avoid other dog walkers. I’m anti social anyway! It was surreal.  Every time I took an avoiding manoeuvre I came face to face with another dog walker.  I think every dog owner on the estate decided to take their walk at 7.00 this morning.

I’m having a quiet day, Paul is out and I’m at a loose end.  This is dangerous for me.  I was going to make chocolate brownies but I don’t have enough butter in the fridge and after walking Rick for an hour I don’t have the inclination to walk to the shops.  I found some old mascara dye in the bathroom cabinet so I’ve smothered it on my eyebrows.  According to the instructions I have to leave it on for half an hour.  No, I’m not going to take a photo but suffice to say that Rick has gone to hide under the bed.

Now, what shall I do next?

House Search

Yesterday we had the first viewing of our ‘modern coach house’.   We took Rick out for a long walk while the agent took care of the visit.  The prospective buyers made an offer straightaway.  We turned it down but are hoping they will come back with a counter offer later today.  We could be ‘homeless’ sooner than we thought!

The quest to find another home has suddenly become more urgent.  We have trawled through Norfolk, Lincolnshire, Derbyshire, Gloucestershire, Herefordshire and Shropshire.  Yesterday we discovered Pembrokeshire!  We hadn’t previously considered Wales, Pembrokeshire is about as remote as you can get.  But the countryside and rugged coastline is beautiful so we might have to investigate it further.

The search is much harder than we thought it would be.  We have found umpteen houses that would make perfect homes but the gardens are never big enough.  When we find the garden then the house is not right.  Last week we thought we had found the ideal home but after checking the satellite image we could see it was sandwiched between a power station and the motorway!

The area we are considering is huge so while Rick and Paul were at school this morning, I made myself a ‘house board’ so I can remind myself where prospective properties are placed geographically.  We have them all listed on Rightmove but this board helps me to recall them at a glance and I know instantly, for example, that the ‘kitchen house’ is the house with the fantastic kitchen.

I think we will shortly be going on a few road trips to do some house viewings.  Yes, Rick will come too!

Rick and the Estate Agent

Ten years ago, when we sold our last house in the UK, internet marketing was still relatively new.  At that time the estate agent just sauntered round and took a few photos with his own camera and the details were listed very quickly.  How times have changed.  Nowadays it seems that in order to sell your house you need to have a professional photographer to do the job – for a small fee of course.  Then there is the energy certificate -  another small fee. Do potential buyers really care about the energy efficiency of a small flat? We also had to show that we are not money laundering mobsters by providing proof of identity.

We have instructed Helen, a petite but fearsome redhead (Paul says she’s blonde), to sell our coach house for us. She seemed to know more about selling this type of property than the Vic Reeves lookalike.  She came round yesterday with some paperwork for us to sign.  Rick tried to lick her to death.  She said she liked dogs but I was worried about her designer jacket so I sort of wrestled him to the floor and held him down, gritting my teeth against the pain from my hip. Paul was too busy drooling over Helen to notice.

The photographer is coming round on Tuesday.  I expect another week will have passed before this place actually goes on the market. I’m not going to clean the windows again, I’ll just drop the blinds instead.

For Sale

We had an estate agent round yesterday to value the coach house; another is due at midday today.  Yesterday’s agent looked a bit like Vic Reeves, we quite liked him.  He said it was a tricky place to value, it’s not a flat and it’s not a house – it’s an anomaly.  I live in an anomaly.

I have been busy hiding clutter and polishing everything in sight.  I managed to hurt my hip while I was clambering on the sink to reach the kitchen window on Wednesday.  It is extraordinarily painful and I’m dosed up on painkillers.  Last night I managed to splash mouthwash into my eye and that’s when the tears really started.  At least it took my mind off my painful hip for a few minutes.

Kat is wisely staying away during this process, she knows that I would probably tidy her away in the car with Rick while the estate agents are here. 

Now, where’s the duster...

Dog in Red 2018

Dog in Red 2018

It is raining cats and dogs today.  We got absolutely soaked on Rick's morning walk.  At least there weren't any cyclists or small children about for him to chase after.  The flat now has a wonderful aroma of Eau de Chien Mouillé to woo prospective buyers.

Deer Encounters

It should have been a simple repair job but Mr Smillie had other ideas. “We’ll just quickly whizz away some of this decay and replace the filling” he announced gleefully.  I was in no position to protest (his hand was in my mouth). The whizzing took at least twenty minutes;  I’m now £90 lighter and have a very numb face.  Hugely relieved it’s all over though.

Paul took Rick out early for his morning walk.  Rick got incredibly muddy earlier in the week when we took him along the Ridgeway and we had to put him in the shower when we got home.  All the bridle paths and fields are very muddy right now so Paul kept to the hard pavements of the housing estate today.  Our little market town is bordered by fields and open countryside but Paul was still surprised to come face to face with a small Muntjac during his walk.  He thought it was a stray dog to start with and Rick was very eager to say hello.  The little deer was very chilled and just trotted across the road and disappeared into the thick hedgerow.