16 February 2017

Uncouth




My husband is uncouth.  He is wonderful in many ways, hard working, kind, considerate, generous but totally uncouth.


“Why do you persist in leaving your chair out when you leave the table?”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I don’t, but you often do.”
“Well, you, as a gentleman , should move my chair for me.”
“What you do think this is, Pride and bloody Prejudice?”

(Come to think of it, Darcy would be a good name for a dog.)

 


11 February 2017

The Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands





Things are very quiet at the moment. This morning I am living dangerously by sticking a faux silk cushion cover in the washing machine – it says dry clean only.

There has been a light sprinkling of snow overnight; it is freezing cold but this doesn’t stop Mr Frost (that’s is really his name) getting outside with his bucket and sponge and washing his new white car.




The problem when things are quiet is that I start to dream up new projects.  Like getting a dog.  Like selling up and moving house.  Like buying a camper van...

“Why the hell did you share that ‘win a camper van’ on Facebook?”
“Because I might win a camper van?”
“Can’t you see it’s a scam you foolish woman, no-one is going to give fifty camper vans away as a prize.”
“Oops.”

I feel very stupid now.  What can I dream up next?

7 February 2017

Never a right time



 
Daisy

"I want a dog!”
“We said we’d get one when the time is right.”
“I want one now.”
“No.”
“Yes.  Not now this minute but maybe at the end of the year.”
“No.”

When Daisy, our Airedale, died over a decade ago I swore that I would never give my heart to another dog, the grief was just unbearable.  Perhaps it was looking after Buddy in Oz that has convinced me that I’m ready to give some motley hound a home.  Or am I?

Am I ready for the muddy paw prints, dog dander, dog breath, walks in all weathers and scooping poop?  The enormous vet bills and worrying about ticks and fleas?  For my fragrant home to smell constantly like an old man’s slipper?  The embarrassment when they attack the milkman/postman/lollipop man or piss over a small child. Hmm, that doesn’t sound so good.

Am I prepared to give my time and attention to a moulting, slobbering bundle of fur?  To share my life with a needy, homeless animal? (It has to be a rescue dog.)  Am I ready for a dog’s unquestioning love and loyalty?  Watching their joy and exuberance on long walks in the countryside. Their funny antics and their warm cuddles. Hell, yes.

Yesterday evening I gave it another shot.

“There are some lovely dogs waiting for re-homing at the Bath Cats & Dogs Home.”
“I’ve been looking at the Battersea website.  What type of dog were you thinking about?”

Watch this space!


4 February 2017

Sinusitis




Captain’s log, stardate six.  The cold has transmogrified into acute sinusitis.  Half my head feels relatively normal, the other side feels like someone has turned a tap on in my right sinus.  I have resorted to tissues stuffed up my nostrils.  Paul says it is not a good look.

I have tried various nasal sprays, menthol inhalations, cold remedies etc. to no effect.  This morning, in desperation, I raided my medicine box and found some old*  Piriton allergy tablets. Finally they seem to have beaten those damned histamines into submission.  The tap has temporarily been turned off. Unfortunately I shall have to forgo my Saturday whisky if I wish to stay conscious this evening.  In the meantime I have sent Paul out for emergency supplies of soft tissues and oranges.

Hopefully it will not develop into an infection.  Years ago I had a really nasty sinus infection and my doctor prescribed antibiotics.  I picked up the prescription on my way to work and quickly swallowed the first dose.  About half an hour later, as I was walking along the plushly carpeted corridor of the hallowed executive suite where the company directors dwelt, I suddenly felt extraordinarily nauseous.  With no time to head for the cloakroom I ran past some astonished secretaries and ducked into the HR director’s office (fortuitously empty) where I was gloriously sick in the waste paper bin.  The tablets should not have been taken on an empty stomach.  Funny the things you remember.

* Expiry date November 2007 

'old' Piriton allergy tablets

2 February 2017

Groundhog Day


steam inhalation to clear my sinuses


It’s Groundhog Day today.  Comes round every year, just like my birthday.

Actually, birthday celebrations have been postponed due to my cold (although Paul did take me out to the car wash earlier today). I treated myself to a steam inhalation earlier to try and clear my sinuses; I think I added too much Olbas oil because it nearly blew my head off. 

I will try and force myself to eat some smoked salmon and sushi for lunch, accompanied by a chilled glass of prosecco.

I had a special card from Buddy, it made me chuckle.