17 December 2017
Dear Cousin Rick
G’day! Bark the herald angels and all that stuff. It’s a sultry 24 degrees and the sun is shining in Oz. You would love it here although you’d need a hair cut to keep cool. Fantastic beaches and lots of joggers and cyclists for you to chase. I could even introduce you to the lollipop man.
Mistress Sarah is packing her big grey suitcase. She is going to brave your cold, damp and foggy weather to spend Christmas with you. She must be barking.
I hope you have a good time, I expect I will be all right on my own. Don’t worry about little old me while you’re stealing sausage rolls, pulling crackers and getting your tummy rubbed. If they try and make you wear a party hat just retaliate with a doggy fart, it always gets a good response.
Gotta go now, I have mountains of fan mail to reply to.